Discoveries and preferences
Sometimes I end up just following along. I forget to put thoughts on the things I do, and to put my preferences above those of others and so I end up not even knowing what I do prefer.
Pens are better than pencils. That's what I always thought, not because I prefer them, but because going through school pens were not allowed to be used until you reached a certain year. This passage from pencil to pen translated in my mind as pens being certainly better than pencils.
A friend gave me an old notebook he had barely used in school. It had some notes written quite some years ago, they were written in pencil. I though "how durable" and then I wondered why I thought that things written in pencil would just disappear with time.
Honestly, I prefer writing with pencils. I have the tendency to write very small, and now I do it when writing Chinese characters too. When I use a pen, it often smudges and makes the characters ugly and undecipherable and I need to distinguish the strokes clearly since I'm still learning them. With a pencil everything stays clear as long as I keep it sharp. I like that.
Every time I discover preferences like this I think to myself "how silly". Is not that I hate this tendency I have to drift along, I think I always learn much from others. But sometimes I forget that going back to doing things like I did them before, or doing them the way I prefer them, or not liking the way another thinks or behaves above certain things is okay too.