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Resin memento
I graduated last year and, as it's tradition here, I wore a laurel crown to the graduation ceremony.
The crown had been hanging in my room for a bit: the laurel leaves dried up and it was collecting dust. As I did not want to throw it out just like that, I decided to make a memento with resin out of some of its leaves instead.
This is the final result. It is full of air bubbles, the surface it's not smooth because I overflowed the stamp and the writing behind moved... But, I am satisfied. And, in this way I tried a new activity and also discovered that I would not like it as a hobby! It is way too messy ahah
Front
Back
I initially made this one. The ladybug its significant because it was with the graduation gift from my friend that graduated before me, but it is also the reason why there are even more air bubbles in this one.
Lastly, with the remaining resin I made these two decorations that I plan to gift:
To make them stand up, I made some origami holders!
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Being alone
A fortnight ago, I went for a walk up the mountain with Ollie, to a spot a friend recommended for its quietness.
At first I parked at the wrong spot and walked for a bit, but the impact of the landscape I saw was immediate: there was only me and Ollie and the mountain, which the road passed through. This place is near home, yet it seemed to me that I had traveled to a far away and secluded space.
It started to rain, so we returned to the car. I decided to try and find the place anyway and drove further up the road. The sky cleared and so we were able to resume our walk, now from the right parking spot.
Again, there was no one. We walked for a couple of minutes and we reached a clearing atop of the mountain. A total absence of human noise, just the swallows singing and flying wildly for the upcoming tempest. It was so nice.
Under the trees there is a secluded picnic table with some benches - my friend says she calls it "the lovers' bench" since it is far away from the others. It is also the only one that offers a landscape view of the villages down bellow.
I lay on the bench and watched the leaves from the trees above move quietly with the wind. This moment, after so much time spent listening and listening; this nature-like silence, it felt so nice. This feeling, it made me remember just how much I love being alone.
Noise, words, useless declarations, egocentric opinions, none of that. Just the wind, the singing of birds, the occasional sigh from my dog. The slow pitter-patter of rain that finally jolted me awake.
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Helping a rained-on-bee
It has been raining quite a bit these past few days, and it got colder again, I don't mind the rain but I don't like the cold.
I found a little bee on the windshield of my car today. I initially thought she was dead since she was legs up. I put my things in the backseat of the car and when I looked again: "Oh, you are alive".
I've been talking aloud to myself more often lately. I think it's the influence of spending so much time around small children at work. The spell takes a little to disperse, so when I arrive home I talk to Ollie the Dog like I talk to the children. It doesn't help that he behaves like one, too.
I offered her a ride back home with me, in the passenger seat. The presence was tiny but I felt it vividly, that I was not driving alone but had a passenger. I wonder if I had put her in a box and treated her like "a thing to transport" I would have felt differently. But now that I write this I don't think I would, the real question is probably "what would someone else have felt" and could they have felt the same?
Every one is just trying to live, a single insect's life is short and insignificant compared to ours, but for that single bee, it is her whole life. When I think like this, and when I saw her struggle I couldn't help but feel bad, it did not cost me anything but a little bit of time to help her, so I did.
Back home I offered her a flower and she got to work drying herself up.
Then I put her and her little flower on a dry pot outside. I checked after a while and she was not there anymore.
Drinking away!
Another brief encounter I had recently was with a (common) magpie. We always leave some cat food outside for Carlo the Stray Cat, and we see that some birds come to eat too. Usually, they are tiny birds that steal a quick bite and fly away.
This time there was a magpie just eating away. I was able to take a short video before it flew to hide above the window shutter.
I made my way to the kitchen and hid behind the wall. I went to peek at it to see if it had returned to eat, but it had had the same idea: it was peeking at me from above the shutter. In the end, it flew away, while I was left amused by the moment.
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Sinking
Just for a little while, under the sunny breeze,
I want to crawl back to earth,
To the warmth of the decomposing leaves;
I want to be buried in the comforting brown,
And fall asleep to the endless deep.
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My second ever concert
On the 28th of April I went to my second ever concert, by the same band from my first ever concert: 5 Seconds of Summer.
In short, it was a lot of fun! :)
The concert was in Milan, between 3.30 to 4.30 hours of driving from my home, depending on traffic. And then back on the same day.
Something silly I rediscovered along the road: in the Lombardia region when you order a cappuccino, they ask you which size you want it (small, medium or large). I think the medium size is roughly the same as the only size they serve you in Veneto, where I live.
I arrived at the concert venue that the gates had already been opened. Much better than in the previous concert, where I arrived as early as possible because I did not know how it all worked.
Before the concert, the guest band South Arcade played. I liked how the lead singer moved on stage but the music not that much. All in all, the concert was very fun. I knew all the songs apart from the solo parts, which I've got stuck in my head now and have been listening to throughout the day.
I have to admit that at the start of the concert I was a little unsure of what to do with myself, it felt like I was just standing there listening to them sing... but by the end I was singing and jumping with the others.
The girl sitting next to me gifted me and the people around us a bracelet she made for the occasion. I was grateful, I hope she enjoyed the concert.
Here's some snippets. The solo performance by the lead singer:
And the song Easier, which was the one that made me discover the band back in 2021:
Lastly, I'be realized that the mentality I had when I attended that first concert was not the same as the one I had this time, which probably made me enjoy things a lot more. Back then, I was in a state of mind were I did not want to "care" about others' thoughts and I'd started the resolution of using my phone less to "enjoy the moment" which just translated in getting annoyed at others' behavior. All very silly now looking back. This time, I also "did not care" but that influenced and included my actions only. Also, I forget things easily as time goes by and having some videos to go back to and relive the moment is just nice.
When the band returns here again, I want to get nicer tickets and enjoy the show from closer up.
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Travels: Portopiccolo and Muggia for my mother's bday
Portopiccolo Sistiana (TS), Italy
19th of April, 2026
Muggia (TS), Italy
And some jellyfish!
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An ongoing list of the food Way likes to eat
I have four cats, they all have their preferences about food.
Dante eats his cat food and respectfully awaits to eat the leftovers that his sister leaves. If I wrongfully place the plate meant for his sister instead of his bowl in front of him, he will recoil with a confused face instead of trying to eat.
Matt eats his food fairly quickly, and then tries to steal from his sister. Even though he eats the same as the others, he is a little chubbier than them. He knows stealing is bad, and if I catch him going towards the others and call his name he will turn around and ask for pets as if he meant that all along.
Mika eats very slowly, prefers wet cat food, gets tired quickly of eating the same dry food flavor, always leaves leftover dry food, and needs encouragements pets to finish her food. She eats in a plate instead of a bowl because she prefers it, I'm not sure about the reason.
Wayne absolutely loves food. His food, the others food, my food. He has to eat confined in another room because he will try and succeed in stealing from others. He knows very well he shouldn't steal, he will try anyway. When I deem that Mika will not eat anymore of her food, I unlock the door for him. I say unlock and not open because he is faster than me and will use his paw like a little monkey to throw it open and reach the food.
When I bring something to my room that even just resembles food he will meow his distinctive meow reserved for begging, mostly begging for food. That is why I can't eat in my room. But I do want some snacks while studying, so I switched to only bringing fruit. The first time I brought fruit, he begged not knowing that is what it was, I showed it to him to make him understand that it was not food meant for him, and that's when I discovered he eats fruit too.
I gave up. Now I just make him try the fruit first so he knows if he likes it or not... I will keep here an ongoing list of his preferences.
Likes ✓
- Kaiser pears
- Fuji apples
- Bar soap
- Brioches
- Peaches
- Avocado smoothie
- Soy milk
- Every cat snack I have ever bought
- Dog snacks (stolen)
- Potato chips
- Popcorn
- Mango
Does not like ✕
- Too many kaiser pears (will take anyway and leave on the floor)
- Coffee (will check every time anyway)
- Grapes, has not tried to eat them
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Meet my beloved cats
Dante (August 2011)
Mika (2014)
Wayne (June 2017)
Matt (2017)
Nerino (2008 - 2024)
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Re: the urge to purge
I've taken a nap again this afternoon, even though I said it was something I would not do anymore. I was just tired after work, and drifted into sleep without knowing, like I always do.
Now I'm here at my desk, I should be studying but instead I was reading some blog posts. I look around at my room and feel like throwing away everything, making a blank slate out of it. I read Little Joe's Notes' post titled The Urge to Purge, and to answer their question: yes, I do feel like getting rid of everything I own.
My room isn't that cluttered either, but I do live with four cats, so keeping it clean daily is essential. That is why sometimes I think that the less things I own the easier to clean. So, I get the urge to throw away everything, even the useful things I own, even the things I like, even those that hold memories. But, I've already downsized so much that there isn't really anything else to "get out".
But, they are right: is just a consequence of life feeling out of control. In my case, is not my room that is cluttered but it is my life itself. Too many things to do, and still I feel like I don't accomplish anything. I know it is not true, but it feels like it, and that's why I get mad at myself for wasting time with a nap. Manipulating my environment, as written in their post, will not change anything, although it does feel good in the moment: to have control over something.
Sometimes, when things get too overwhelming and just looking at my room's walls puts me in a heavy mood, I just take the car and go away. Near or far it does not matter, I just remove myself from here and that helps a lot. If I did not feel guilty about leaving my dear cats alone, I would spend even less time at home.
Next semester I will be leaving to study abroad. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that, when I come back, I will see my room with different eyes. That, after living without all these objects for six months I will immediately know what is really important and what is not. Who knows? I just hope to change, like I always do.
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A small poem in this rainy night
The rain falls lightly,
the clean air enters the room,
in the dark of night.
A soft melody,
the sound of water,
a deep loneliness.
Why is my heart so heavy?
I look at you,
and I feel nothing.
Why is my heart like so?
I look at you,
and I feel love.